Monday, June 6, 2011

A New POpe

I do hate going to the movies. I have said this many times and will say it again.
 

“I don't like to go to theatres,” every single one of my good friends or family who have tried to trick me into a cinema hall, be it a multiplex or a single-screen survivor, would have gotten this reply on more than one occasion.
 

While some fail almost always, many have managed to catch hold of my vital organs and pull me into the darkened hall for a “torture session”.
 

Nay!
 

It has never been a torture session. In fact, to be honest, I thoroughly enjoy the movies like any other Gen X, Y, Z… Man which alphabet in the “Gen” sequence do I belong? Confusion all around these days for the generation divide has become very obscure just like the genres of song, dishum-dishum and, of late, trigger-happy Bollywood.
 

But hey, my dislike for theatres has nothing to do with my “Gen” status.
 

So why do I hate going to the movies even though I religiously watch flicks on TV till five or six in the morning on most days?
 

Once or twice I have given my answer to close friends.
 

“It's because I am afraid of going outside to the bright lights after the surreal experience inside the theatre,” my narration usually begins with like this, classic!
 

And the line will be usually followed by a loud “WHAT” from the other side.
 

The single-worded query, with emotions ranging from amusement to anger, had the power of a thousand Gestapo truth serum injections, forcing me to elaborate. And I do too.
 

“Well, it is because, while I am watching a movie, like many of the guys, I take a trip. I become part of it and I enjoy being in that reel world. I can be happy, I can be sad, I can fight and I can bleed. But what I can't do is, step out of the theatre into the sultry parking lot to take my wheels and drive to office, or home for that matter, for another day or night of reality checks,” my explanation ain’t weird, perfectly sane, I know.
 

Then I elaborate on the Fear Factor!
 

“There is this weird thought also. What if the world has changed outside? As in, what if a tidal wave of thoughts had run through the city and left everything in tatters in its wake and only the theatre survived. And when we get out, a light shines from above, saying we are the designated ones and the theatre was a conspiracy - a Noah's Ark. 'Now remake the world and make it a better place, the voice commands’,” I dramatize my fears (NB: I know this bit is a little weird by the way).
 

But I still continue: “And which such devastation and despair around me, I turn to my friends and can only say, 'God. But, why me? How will I remake Kumarakom Restaurant in such short notice? I wanted to eat beef today’.”
 

That would be “damn inconvenient right,” is my usual last line after each ‘explain-yourself’ session, as I tried to put my odd frailty in a lighter vein.
 

And to this explanation, I have gotten wide range of replies, from the cynical to the comical to the philosophical. All of which, I shall keep to myself because today my thoughts are filled with a larger-than-life character.
 

This big-daddy of a guy was forcing all the beautiful mommies and busy dads to put their personal preferences on hold and beeline outside multiplexes to get a seat inside the 3D world of ‘The Kung Fu Panda-II’ and his sermon of “Inner Peace”.
 

And so did the reluctant movie-goer in me. I, and my friends, didn't queue up though, instead using the good old internet for our tickets. But enter we did, to his Valley of Peace, and laughed and giggled and even punched the air-conditioned upmarket microbes in the air around us, enjoying the plump martial artist showing the world that Size Does Matter.
 

Po the Panda is not “hard core” like the fierce Tigress, who I have a feeling will go on a date with him in Part 3 of the Franchise. Po is not acrobatic like the Monkey, nor can he ricochet around villains like the Mantis. The trained Po is flexible but certainly not as much as the Snake. He definitely can't fly like the Crane either. Bears can't fly, can they?
 

Team Po: Dragon Warrior and his five buddies
But this Mr Po can soar, with teamwork of course: A helping hand here or a push there from his five champion friends.
 

Po can fly for sure. He, as a wannabe Kung Fu fighter taking on the fierce Tai Lung, glided into our hearts in Kung Fu Panda 1. While this time, he crisscrossed across on an F-16 Jet for he is the “Dragon Warrior” and Dragon Warrior rules, not just the hearts of kids but the lives of their dads and moms too.
 

For the fat, arm-chair-warrior daddies, Po is a symbol of hope.
 

“Well if that silly panda can do it. So can I,” this nosy reporter overheard a middle-aged gentleman muttering this under his breath as he tucked in his shirt at the loo during the movie interval. He was checking out his over-sized tummy too and in his moment of inspiration, I think he forgot that he was talking out loud and not to himself. “Inner Peace, Inner Peace,” he muttered as he walked out.
 

And for the mommies?
 

Po has an answer for everything. For the mama-types, Po becomes a baby in Kung Fu Panda-II, and I am sure, seeing the orphaned Panda smile, any mother in that dark hall would have wished it was she and not Ping the Goose (Po's restaurant-owner foster dad) who had chanced upon the naughty brat in a box of radish.


Cuteness before Awesomeness: Po as an infant

While the grown up Po would have made at least some of 'em ladies think of extra-marital stuff, yeah, an affair to remember, a one night stand even.
 

Come on, who can resist the charms of a kung fu master, with a fist hungry for justice and a stomach churning for love, not to mention his appetite for outdoor activities, read: eating. A real man among wannabes; a man capable of beating the feathers out of a bad guy as sinister and imposing as Lord Shen, the white Peacock, to save China and kung fu and then the world before eating his well-earned cup of noodles (I wonder if it's instant noodles), not necessarily in that order of priority.
 

“Po for Pope, Po for Pope,” I heard this was the slogan in the heart of Catholic Latin America, after a group of nuns from a convent went for a special screening of Kung Fu Panda-II.
 

Well Po would definitely like to oblige. But does he have the spiritual inclinations to become such a leader, one wonder.
 

But, of course!
 

He can drive away the fears of uncertainty that always hang above us: Especially when we think of stepping out during Monsoon without an umbrella. From now on, I will look forward to a walk in the rains performing Taichi with the rain drops, while I utter the mantra for Nirvana – “Inner Peace, Inner Peace,” while wondering whether it is all about wearing the right underwear (Po still wears that dirty shorts by the way).
 

He, like all Gurus, can also drive away trepidations everyone has about an uncertain future. At least he did for me.
 

For the first time, I stepped out of a theatre, not fearing the sights and sounds of reality nor the thought of rebuilding this world. I had Po’s magic mantra guiding me – “Inner Peace, Inner Peace.”
 

My priorities were straightened out too; what a pleasant change, I say.
 

As soon as I stepped out of the hall, I told my friends: “My stomach is hungry for justice. Let us all get some inner peace at the Chinese joint across the road and let's do it Po style -- Noodles and the whole assortments.

Hungry Young Man: Po is not shy to answer his real calling

That's what Po can do, he can make us look forward to the finer things in life rather than worry about buying a packet of popcorn for the ritualistic but far-from-elegant jaw exercise every one of us do these days at the movies.
 

None of my friends bought popcorn or Pepsi or anything during the show. Our tongues were rather occupied -- wagging, drooling, whistling and howling at the “Awesomeness” on screen and nothing else mattered.
 

My brothers and sisters, Po for Pope indeed!

Rising above it all: Po and the art of "inner peace"

5 comments:

Nandhu said...

that is a very long post. will have to come back again to read it. but it began nicely and the flow was there.

Roopali said...

Haha. I cannot believe your reasons to not watch movies in theatres. :-p Actually It is kinda heartbreaking to be back in reality after a movie but movies are worth it. Especially if its Kungfu Panda we are talking about. :) Great post!

Roopali said...

Haha. I cannot believe your reasons to not watch movies in theatres. :-p Actually It is kinda heartbreaking to be back in reality after a movie but movies are worth it. Especially if its Kungfu Panda we are talking about. :) Great post!

Roopali said...

Haha. I cannot believe your reasons to not watch movies in theatres. :-p Actually It is kinda heartbreaking to be back in reality after a movie but movies are worth it. Especially if its Kungfu Panda we are talking about. :) Great post!

Thought-Les said...

thank you @roopali. glad you liked the piece. Yeah... Po is the best ;-)